Right now you’re undoubtedly thinking this is a horrible idea. Monumentally horrible even.
You know it’s pretty much a universally accepted fact that Nickelback is the lousiest band of this generation – if not all generations – so why would you ever consider going Nickelback on your social media?
And you’re right. It’s a tough sell.
Why, Google “Nickelback is terrible” and you get 157,000 relevant search results. Search “The Beatles are bigger than Jesus” and you get 181,000 results – to put that into perspective.
Ask your Magic 8-Ball if Nickelback writes meaningless songs and it will smugly say, “Come on, guy, you really needed my help on this one?”
Alright, that’s a bad joke. But perhaps only jokes dripping with unoriginality can adequately illustrate how crummy this band is.
And yet, to the great dismay of us all, they have sold over 21 million records to date. 21 million. That’s like everyone in the state of Texas owning at least one Nickelback album. Or all 3 million Iowans owning all 6 Nickelback albums plus 3 million doubles.
That’s mad crazy.
We sold 21 million records? Really? Sweetness!
Even lead singer Chad Kroeger is shocked. He was quoted as saying their record sales are the 8th wonder of the world.
Ok, he didn’t say that. And, yes, it’s another terribly lame joke.
But were Chad Kroeger ever to try his hand at humor – a formidable feat for those who take themselves too seriously – I’m convinced that’s the kind of material he’d come up with. Let’s remember this is the same dude who sings “I Wanna Be a Rockstar” with a straight face.
But while Nickelback will go down in history as the band that sold 21 million records despite being the furthest thing away from the Beatles, they are still a great band. Seriously.
Because unbeknownst to them, they weaved sage social media advice into their lyrics. Literally every song is another slide in the Greatest Social Media Tips Ever! PowerPoint.
You just have to listen closely. Get inside the mind of Chad Kroeger. Then even you can become a Social Media Rock Star. Seriously.
“Look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh…” From the forgettable song “Photograph”
That’s the money right there. Think about it – what better way to leave a lasting impression than to have a funny profile picture or avatar.
Your tweets might be forgettable. Your Facebook stati might go without comments or likes. And your LinkedIn profile might have 0 views in the past 90 days.
But if your profile pics and avatars rock, you’re still money. Because every time people look at your photograph, it’ll make ‘em laugh. Like this guy.
Nickelback Social Media success.
“By now, no doubt that we were heading south. I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth…” From the ridiculous song “Animals”
Ok, so we have a double whammy here. This is not only good social media advice, but it’s damn good life advice to boot. Speaking with a mouthful is rude and crude. It’ll turn off your blind date faster than it’ll get you un-followed in the Twitterverse.
And it will get you un-followed. People don’t want to read four conflicting thoughts crammed into 140 characters. They just don’t.
Furthermore, remember the Library of Congress is archiving your tweets, so think your words through before you press submit. Always be clear and concise. Don’t leave your message open to interpretation. Make your lyrics brutally blunt just like Nickelback.
Cheers to you, Nickelback! That’s nice advice.
Double Nickelback Social Media Success.
“I guess it wasn’t really right. I guess it really wasn’t meant to be…” From the failure that is “Fight for All the Wrong Reasons”
So that’s just really bad songwriting. Nothing to learn here.
I write all my own lyrics.
Nickelback Fail. Moving on…
“Now that the world isn’t ending, it’s love that I’m sending to you…” From that song that nearly drove you crazy, “Hero”
Now that’s what I’m screaming. Your friends and followers don’t want a sermon, nor do they wish to be force-fed your latest press release.
They want love, baby. So give ‘em love. Personalize your message. Let your audience know you’re listening and you care. That it’s not all a one-sided affair.
Don’t preach – respond! Engage! Then and only then will you become a social media Hero.
Big Time Nickelback Social Media Success.
“So I’ll be waiting for the real thing, I’ll know it by the feeling, the moment when we’re meeting, will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen…” From the train wreck called “Gotta Be Somebody”
Talk about putting the hammer to the head of the nail, Nickelback! How true are these poetic lyrics. The true value of social media is converting anonymous online interactions into real-life relationships.
First, you engage strangers from your industry thru social media. You have a few good conversations. Then, before you know it you’ve fostered a pretty good relationship.
Then when your first real-life meeting inevitably arrives over coffee or at a conference or convention…Well, it’ll be “like a scene straight off the silver screen.”
Legendary Nickelback Social Media Success.
“Now it’s just you and me, borrow one and we will make three. I say we steal one more, just like we did once before…” From the creepy song “Little Friend”
You know, I’m not sure what the hell this one’s about. Is he talking about stealing someone’s dog? Whatever it is, it ain’t right and we don’t condone it.
Fail. Super Creepy, even for Nickelback.
“Did I ask for your input? How’s the taste of your own foot?” From “Diggin This” a song you’ve probably never heard.
Social media is filled with countless unspoken rules, one of which is knowing when to offer your input.
Sometimes people just want to vent by going on a rant in their status. They don’t need you to confirm that their life/job/relationship is currently making them miserable.
Sometimes two close friends or colleagues just want to have a one-on-one convo on Twitter. Maybe to discuss how their lives/jobs/relationships are currently making them miserable. Sure, they should have emailed or direct messaged each, but they didn’t. But that isn’t an invite to chime in on their misery.
Neither of these occasions, and many more just like them, calls for your unsolicited input. So don’t enter a conversation unless it’s clearly an open discussion and you have something of value to add. In other words, keep your foot on the floor and out yo’ mouth.
Total Nickelback Success.
Told you I was serious
Way to go, Joe! Gonna write a song about you.
Let’s be honest here, we could go on for days drawing sound social media advice from Nickelback lyrics.
These guys brewed up a bottomless pot of gold and said “Here, grab a ladle and scoop yourself up a bowl of social media wisdom.”
Best of all, they still have a great deal to offer. If we’re lucky, Nickelback will sell another 21 million records full of quotable social media-savvy lyrics.
And even though another 21 million won’t put Nickelback in the same class as the Beatles, they will still be a great band, even if nobody knows it.
So learn from them. You will soon enjoy social media success beyond your wildest dreams…Beyond your wildest dreams…Bet you that line’s in a Nickelback song or two.
But how about you, what Nickelback lyrics are your favorites? Which ones make you laugh, make you cry, make you wonder “How did these guys ever sell 21 million records”?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Loved this article!
And yes, you’re right, Nickleback do suck. That said, however banal Kroeger’s lyrics are, they get trumped by the lyrics to ‘life’ by Des’ree:
“I don’t want to see a ghost/It’s the sight that I fear most/I’d rather have a piece of toast/Watch the evening news”
Deep…
I read the first 5 paragraphs and I got bored at you moaning about how bad nickleback are, i’d like to ask why you are comparing them to the (expletive) beetles? It seem’s like every band with a guitar in is compared to the (expletive) beetles, who are a long gone and dead phenomima. I’ve never liked them and regard them as utter rubbish myself, lyrically just as bad as nickleback. Quit being another keyboard warrior and make some music to rival them if you think your man enough. Nuff said
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